Mother’s Day is not my favourite day.
As my kids “honor” me on this day, I feel the weight of judgement. Have I done enough? Was I a loving mom? When I yelled at my kids the other day, was I too mean to them? Do they really mean what they say in the cards or are they obligated to say the ubiquitous “I Love You”?
Like Valentine’s Day, I think it is pretentious, commercialized and too obligatory. Whether you love your mom or not, of course you are obligated to at least call her, celebrate with her and show her some love on this day. Who wants to admit that they don’t love their mom?
Even my kids are compelled to “plan” something for mom with dad’s help, however they feel about mom and whether they like it or not. Poor dad has to put up with the extra expenses to buy flowers, presents or take mom out for a meal. Poor kids have to make the mandatory Mother’s Day cards. Poor mom has to look at all the cards and “ooh” and “aah” at them and swallow the sometimes not so tasty culinary attempts by dads and the kiddies.
This is the ONE day to make Mom feel good and appreciated and loved. All intentions are well-meant I’m sure. But I could not help but wonder, “What about the other 364 days?”
Do I not warrant the special efforts to make me feel good about my job as mom? Should my daily services not be valued? And do I not deserve to be adored during these other 364 days of the year?
I would much prefer a regular stipend of remunerations throughout the year in my love bank than one declared day of veneration. And preferably in compensations that are authentic and heart-felt by the persons paying.
According to Salary dot com, today’s mothers are worth between $90, 223 (working moms) to $143, 102 (stay-at-home moms). Fortunately for my children (and hubby), they can pay for my services as tutor, chauffeur, secretary, counsellor, sleep warden and playdate organizer, not in dollars but in love tokens.
I will accept their love tokens in any of these simple gestures:
- A single tight big crushy bear hug (not the quickie type before you rush off to play)
- Telling me “I Love You Mom” out of the blue (followed by a quickie hug)
- Anything written or made by them with sincerity (in songs, cards or notes)
- Recognition of the services rendered by me (pick up/drop off services, organizing playdate, baking a cake or preparing dinner)
- Funny anecdotes from their day in school / playground
- Easy banters while we drive to and fro from school
- Heart to heart tête-à-tête sessions
- Their company while I run errands or work from home.
- Good grades from our efforts studying together (Yea! Still an Asian mom. Can’t shake that off).
- Play nicely and don’t bicker (if need to , please do so out of my hearing range).
So, if it is ONE day that they want to venerate me, ok, I can indulge them…
Till our next post, love yourself, love one another.