Today is my turn on the Embracing Motherhood Blog Train to share my thoughts, struggles and triumphs on being a mother.
To me, motherhood is a journey of self-growth. I was your quintessential party girl who yearns to see the world pre-kids. Once the kids came along, the nurturing side took over naturally and it was impossible to envision my life without them.
As their mother, the kids groomed me for different roles — party planner, photographer, tutor, storyteller, chef, maid, chauffeur, secretary, counsellor and the list goes on. Sometimes the roles overlap and I learnt new multi-tasking skills to cope. For example, cooking and teaching the kids about maths at the same; singing an upbeat version of Barney’s “I Love you” to keep the kids entertained and keeping an eye on the road while driving home. Now that they are older, I am writing this blog while supervising their homework assignments.
I have learnt so many lessons in the 10 years of motherhood. Because of these many lessons, I have learnt that I am WISER, STRONGER and more RELAXED as a mother. I am sure that there will be more learnings as my children move into each phase of life as teenagers and young adults. Here are just the first 10 lessons:
- Be FORGIVING of myself when I make mistakes as a parent.
- Be BRAVE when my children to go out in the real world
- Be STRONG and trust them to learn to handle themselves in tough situation in the real world.
- Be KIND when they come home with bad news.
- Be CALM when they come home with creepy crawlies, toads and what nots.
- Be AWARE that I only have a certain window of time with them before they favour their friends’ company over mine.
- Be ACCEPTING of their individuality and their choices when they differ from mine.
- Be AGREEABLE to have fun with your kids; it keeps them closer to you.
- Be LOVING even when I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs.
- Be CAREFUL of the agreements you enter with your kids, make sure you check their fine prints.
Motherhood stretches my boundaries and pushes me to overcome my limitations. As a mother, I am vigilant of every known fear and some unknown ones. Some might say I am a worry wart. I can’t help it. I am concern of their safety, their well-being, their health, their fitness, their education and their future.
I worry if I am a good mother; if I am boosting their self-esteem or not doing enough. I worry if I am pushing them too hard or being too soft with them. I have constant battles over working full-time or staying at home.On good days, I feel blessed to be a mother to these children. On bad days, I wonder sometimes if the kids are better off without me.
I have since learnt that these worries have more to do with me and the stones I have picked up along my learning journey than it is about the kids.
I share the same philosophy as Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis that if you bungle raising your children, it doesn’t matter however well you do in other areas of your life. These thoughts push me to educate myself about coaching and parenting skills and in the process, drive me to stretch my boundaries and overcome my limitations.
The Seasons of Motherhood
When I was struggling as a young mother over whether to leave the nest or not, an older mom told me about the Seasons of Motherhood that puts things in perspective for me. There is a time for the mother to stay home, a time for the mother to go to work, a time for the mother to be the nurturer and a time for the mother to enjoy all elements of motherhood. Every mother has a different timeframe for the seasons. You just have to find the one that suits you best at the moment.
“Motherhood is not the easiest thing in the world but once you get the hang of it, it becomes easier and you will enjoy it.” ~ These are the words from my son who was helping me get over my writer’s block on this assignment. There is a ring of truth to it and I quite like it. (See, the child becomes the teacher.)
It is to date the BEST vocation I have undertaken. Three Cheers to the two kids who gave me the toughest and best job ever! Hip, Hip Hooray!
Next up is Shermeen from www.meeningfully.com. A mother to a boisterous 3 year old boy, the journey to becoming a mother was not an easy one. After years of yearning for a child, motherhood isn’t quite the way she envisioned it to be. Read about how motherhood has changed her as she aims to balance between family and her career.