From the moment the nurse plonked a 3.8kg baby onto my chest in the delivery room, I knew that my life was no longer the same. From then on, it was not any big ah-ha moments, but simple, small, quiet ones that continually shift and moved me until one day, I realized that I was not the same woman the baby landed on.
If you are a mom, you can probably relate to these moments… Tender moments when you caressed his tiny little fingers in yours and literally, feeling your heart grow with the love for the tiny human being that you cradle in your arms. Intuitive moments when you looked into his young eyes and knew that you want to make another one and willingly go through the whole experience of pregnancy several times over to give him siblings and build a family of support for him.
Protective moments when you want to shield him from bullies his size, but having the presence of mind to allow him to learn to defend himself. Heart-breaking moments when you see him fall and instinctively want to lift him up but having to restrain yourself to enable his growth and self-preservation.
Proud moments when he succeeds in his endeavours and exceeds your expectations. And heart-stopping moments when you suddenly realize that your baby is no longer a baby, but a young boy or a young man.
How has motherhood changed me?
Motherhood does not happen the moment you become a mom. It is just the beginning. With every little moment of shifts (some major ones), it propels you towards motherhood. When that happened, I have never identified more with Zena the warrior princess as much as I did when I became a mother. I aspire to be like her — a sexy, funny, kind, smart, strong and capable woman who will fight for just cause, protect her own kind, and the wisdom to accept all that she is.
Motherhood has fortified my strengths and bolstered my weaknesses. Whatever I was good at before, I became even better. If I loved parties before, I never stopped after I became a mom. In fact, the experiences allowed me to throw kick-ass birthday parties and play dates for my little ones and their friends. If I was indulgent in myself before kids, I now pamper my kids. If I enjoyed lazing around before kids, I am now much more disciplined (or perhaps more adept at hiding my lazing around when the kids are not around).
Motherhood makes you look at others before yourself. It demands acts of selflessness. The mother always ensures her kids’ comforts first, and think of their well-being before hers. She is the first to be up and almost always, the last in bed. Nurturing has become such second nature that sometimes you have to “rein in” these mothering instincts especially around your grown-up z-generation colleagues!
Motherhood obliges you to pick a side. If I was on the fence before about women rights, I am now a proponent of it because I have a daughter and I want to make sure that she gets every opportunity to fulfill her dreams and desires. And because I have a son, I want to ensure that he treats women well and respectfully and is a desirable partner for the women in his life.
If I wavered in my beliefs before, I am now more resolute. For example, I am more committed to recycling because I truly want to leave the earth in a better state than it was before. If I did not understand issues like LGBT or digital gaming, I want to learn more so that I can understand the world that my kids will face.
Motherhood compels you to reflect upon yourself. When your child mirrors your behaviors and attitudes, it forces you to do a check and balance on yourself. You have to ask yourself if you like the mirrored images you see in your child and what will you do if you don’t. As a mom, I am bound by standards that are no longer my own, but my kids as well. As such, there is a need for me to ensure I meet these standards and not be hypocritical or double-standard about them. Because if you do, the kids will call you out on it and that never ends well.
Motherhood drives you to do better. Every single day. If you are a first-time parent or a mom, you know what I mean. Motherhood is like the Spartacus of life. You will encounter obstacles, meet with difficult experiences and make tough choices. Some of these hurdles are easily overcome, some not so easily. Some days are smooth sailing.; others are strife with battles. The days that you do well, pat yourself on the back and reward yourself. The days that you don’t do well, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and tell yourself you will do better tomorrow. That’s motherhood. It keeps you on your toes and you keep growing, keep on doing better. Every single day.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to experience this motherhood journey with my kids. This post is part of the ‘How Motherhood has changed me?’ Blog Train hosted by Mums&Babies. Click on the photo to read the motherhood stories shared by 41 moms from Singapore, India and USA on this blog train.
Next up, we have Ashlyn from www.ashlynthia.blogspot.sg. Ashlyn shares her walk of faith, love and joy as a full time working mummy to 2. Many years back, she prayed for a child but God didn’t send her one immediately. Instead, He waited and blessed her with 2 daughters at the perfect timing. He continued to be her center of life, guide and lead her new journey. She writes about her life, faith, parenting, child, travel and crafting “adventures” – yes, many ups & downs! More over at www.ashlynthia.blogspot.com
Let us know how motherhood has changed you? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
Till our next post, love yourself, love one another.